LOVE vs. LUST

a sermon preached by the Rev. Sue Judson Hamly
at Faith United Church, UCC
International Falls, MN
on Wednesday evening, March 14, 2012
for our Community Ecumenical Lenten Service


scriptures: Acts 8:18-25, Matthew 5:27-30, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13

I’m going to date myself when I say that I think the first time I ever  put any thought into the meaning of “lust” was when there was all that flack (to put it mildly) back in 1976 after then Presidential candidate Jimmy Carter talked about lust and adultery in a very controversial interview with Playboy magazine. 

He said he had looked at women with lust in his heart and that Jesus said that was the same thing as committing adultery. He said lust is a human failing and God forgives us, but that doesn’t mean we should be judgmental of others because condescension and pride are sins too.

Lust popped up again on my radar in 1987, just a couple months after I started seminary. The November issue of Harper’s Magazine had a photo spread on the seven deadly sins. Several advertising agencies had been given the task of creating an ad campaign for each of the seven deadly sins--to make them appealing! And the photographs of those ads were published in the magazine. I would love to show you a picture, but you can’t get into the Harper’s archives unless you’re a current subscriber, which I’m not--and I didn’t care to spend $17.00 on just one sermon, and besides the picture might not be appropriate for all ages...I can’t remember--but I do remember the PR people had made each of the seven deadly sins very appealing. I guess that’s not really surprising because they ARE appealing. That’s why they’re deadly!

So, instead of an appealing photograph of lust, I was amazed to find--on google images--this wonderful list that clearly states the difference between love and lust. But we’ll get back to that in a minute.

What do we find about lust and love in the bible? Well, wouldn’t you know, the bible relates lust to two of humankind’s favorite things: Money and Sex. Either one of those can get a person in all kinds of trouble. We see it in the news practically every day. And it wasn’t any different in biblical times either.

In our reading from the book of Acts, Stephen has just been stoned to death and Saul is running around persecuting Christians and throwing as many as he can in jail. The Christians are forced to leave home base and scatter throughout Judea and Samaria. Wherever they go they continue to tell the good news of Jesus Christ. 

Philip has gone to a city in Samaria, proclaiming the Message of the Messiah. The people were moved by the message and by the signs they saw of God’s action in Philip’s healing and casting out of unclean spirits. They began to follow him, hanging on his every word. 

Also in this town was a man named Simon who was a magician. He had been practicing magic there for years and everyone was really impressed with him and respected him. When Philip came, everyone was inspired by him and they were all baptized, including Simon, who was now following Philip.

The next thing you know, they heard in Jerusalem that the Samaritans had accepted the word of God, so they sent Peter and John there. They laid their hands on the people and they people received the Holy Spirit--with results something like Pentecost, I would imagine. 

Simon was amazed and impressed by this and thought it was magic he’d like to know how to do. So he offered them money to share their “secret” with him. I love Peter’s reaction as translated by Eugene Peterson in The Message, because I think it’s probably very close to what Peter would have said: “To hell with your money, and you along with it! ...trying to buy God’s gift! ...Ask the Master to forgive you for trying to use God to make money. I can see this is an old habit with you; you reek with money-lust.” [1]

Apparently Simon sees the error of his ways and asks for prayers that he would never be like that, and the disciples went on their way, proclaiming the Message of God’s salvation far and wide.

Wouldn’t the world be a great place if everyone saw the error of their ways as soon as it was pointed out to them?

Now, we move on to Jesus talking about lust. You heard the familiar NRSV, but listen to the same verses (Matthew 5:27-30) from The Message. See if it doesn’t hit you much more forcefully.

Jesus says to the people gathered around him, "You know the next commandment pretty well, too: 'Don't go to bed with another's spouse.' But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.

"Let's not pretend this is easier than it really is. If you want to live a morally pure life, here's what you have to do: You have to blind your right eye the moment you catch it in a lustful leer. You have to choose to live one-eyed or else be dumped on a moral trash pile. And you have to chop off your right hand the moment you notice it raised threateningly. Better a bloody stump than your entire being discarded for good in the dump.”

Wow! That’s enough to make us never look at another person again!

So, what is lust? It’s selfishness. It’s thinking only of your own gain, or wanting what you can’t have, or wanting something or someone but not caring how they feel or how anyone else will be affected. Basically, lust is caring more about yourself--your needs, your wants, your success, or your wealth--than anything or anyone else.

And what is love, in comparison?

The answer to that question is in the verses that are chosen more often for weddings than any others. From 1 Corinthians 13, this is what love is: it’s patient and kind; it rejoices in the truth; it bears, believes, hopes and endures all things. And this is what love is not: It’s not envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, irritable or resentful; it doesn’t insist on its own way, and it doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing. 

Love is pretty amazing! It definitely trumps lust any day, but of course it’s easier to lust than to love, so we have to work at loving--loving well, loving extravagantly, loving always.

Here’s where that list comes in… to help us remember the difference; to provide a reality check on whether we’re feeling lust or love. Just remember:

Love gives                  Lust uses

Love is personal         Lust is objectifying

Love is honest Lust is devious

Love waits                  Lust takes

Love is life-giving       Lust is lifeless

Love is life-long          Lust is temporary

Love chooses Lust uses

Love sympathizes Lust criticizes

Love is committed Lust is unattached

Love is faithful Lust is disloyal

Love is generous        Lust is selfish

Love communicates   Lust manipulates

Love is deep               Lust is shallow

Love is responsive Lust is insensitive

Love is pure                Lust is impure

Love understands       Lust makes demands

Love is kind                Lust is blind

Love appreciates        Lust intimidates

Love cares                  Lust dares

Love accepts              Lust discards

Love is given Lust is obsessed

Love talks                   Lust walks

Love adores               Lust keeps score

It’s pretty clear that the virtues of love outweigh the sins of lust, but just in case we forget--which human beings find it all too easy to do--we have a reminder from 1 Corinthians 13:13 in the Message:

“But for right now, ...we have three things to do...: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

It sure is!  AMEN.

Footnote

¹ Acts 8:20-23, The Message.