on March 11, 2012
at Faith United Church of Christ,
International Falls, MN
Scripture reading: Luke 14:1-14
Today is the second in a Lent to Easter sermon series based on the Lent Devotionals 2012 called Give it Up! that was written by the Stillspeaking Writers’ Group of the United Church of Christ. A few of you have the booklet and others of you picked up a copy of the accompanying calendar that gives us suggestions of things to do during each day in Lent, based on the devotional booklet. Today’s suggestion is very practical, especially if you looked at it first thing in the morning. It says: “Daylight Savings Time starts today. Spring forward! (And set your clocks ahead an hour too.)”
Today’s devotional was written by one of my favorites of the Stillspeaking Writers’ Group, the Rev. Lilian Daniel, Sr. Minister at First Congregational UCC in Glen Ellyn, IL.
Before I talk about the story she tells about giving up loneliness, I want to read part of the scripture text again: Luke 14:12-14, but this time from The Message translation of the bible by Eugene H. Peterson. You’ll notice it sounds a bit different in more contemporary language:
“Then [Jesus] turned to the host. ‘The next time you put on a dinner, don’t invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never gets invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be--and experience--a blessing. They won’t be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned--oh, how it will be returned!--at the resurrection of God’s people.’”
Lilian’s father was in the military when she was growing up and for a time her family lived in Japan. The story she tells in today’s devotional is about what her mother did while they were living there. She said her mother was always looking for “the lost lambs.” When it was getting close to Thanksgiving her mother would be keeping an eye out for soldiers who were separated from their families, and she would invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner. “She didn’t know these soldiers, and in almost every case [they] never saw them again, but [her] mother would put on a beautiful spread for them anyway.” [1] Lilian grew up thinking that Thanksgiving was a holiday you celebrated with strangers.
In today’s reading--whether you preferred the NRSV version or The Message--Jesus is making it clear to everyone that when we entertain extravagantly we shouldn’t do it for our friends and family, but instead for the people who need it most. He says not to invite people over who can and will invite us back or to pay them back for having had us over for dinner. “He says we should open our doors and our hearts wider.” [2]
In Middle Eastern culture in Jesus’ day it was all about obligation. If someone had you over for dinner you were obligated to reciprocate by having them over for a fine dinner at your house. So when you were planning a dinner party, you would build your guest list around who you owed and who you wanted to invite so you would be invited to their house for a meal in return. So if your neighbors have just totally remodeled their home, you might have them over for dinner so that they would have to invite you to their house and then you’d get to see what they had done to it!
So people tend to stick to inviting just the folks they know when they decide to throw a party. “But we all get stuck in our social ruts. We don’t have time to keep up with the friends we already have, or to make new ones, let alone have them over for dinner.” [3]
You know what Jesus says to that?
Invite them anyway and YOU will be blessed!!
When Lillian was an adult, she complimented her mother on her generosity to all the soldiers she had over for Thanksgiving meals. To her surprise her mother said oh no, Lillian had it all wrong. “‘I was doing it for myself,’ she said. ‘I was so lonely, living across the world in Japan and separated from my family, imagining them all celebrating Thanksgiving back home without me. I didn’t feel like putting on a big dinner, but having other lonely people over, I felt less lonely.’” [4]
So you see? She invited them even though she didn’t feel like going to all the trouble. And in the process she was blessed!
I remember what it was like when Rowland and I moved to Fremont, California when I was pregnant with Bruce. We moved into an apartment complex where we never did get to know anyone because no one seemed to be home during the weekdays. Rowland commuted to San Jose for work, so that meant he was away from home an extra hour on top of the hours he worked. Back in the ‘70s long distance phone calls were expensive and we didn’t have computers yet. The days were often long and lonely.
So I would put Bruce in his stroller and walk over to the open-air mall for something to do and people to talk to. There was a wonderful little shop that sold fresh-baked cookies. Their chocolate chip cookies were to die for! The woman who worked there was very nice and in the late mornings and early afternoons she often didn’t have many customers. So I would buy us a large cookie to share and then she and I would talk. We got to know each other quite well and passed some pleasant times, probably keeping both of us from being lonely, until her husband got sick and she quit her job to take care of him. I think we were both blessed by the times we spent visiting--I know I was--and able to keep some loneliness at bay.
As people grow older they become less mobile, for one reason or another. Maybe they can no longer drive, or walking is difficult so it’s just easier to stay home. Then they get lonely because they no longer interact with many people during the day like they used to when they were younger. Sometimes they will move into a place like the Villa where they can see other people during the day without even leaving the building. But sometimes that’s not an option and the loneliness can really set in when you live all by yourself.
We can help by offering someone a ride to church or community functions. Or maybe we can offer to take a neighbor grocery shopping with us. Or just invite someone over for coffee, or out to lunch. We may feel like we’re too busy or in too much of a hurry, but when we do dare to get involved, we’ll find that the blessings come to us just as much or more than to the person we think we’re helping.
If you’ve never been lonely, you’re very lucky. I think loneliness is a common human experience. But Jesus calls us to give up loneliness and offer an extravagant welcome, not just to our friends and acquaintances, but to others we don’t even know. Do it safely, of course, but consider really doing it and see how you end up being blessed.
Let us pray: “God, show me who needs an invitation from me, and give me the courage to make it happen.” [5] AMEN.
Endnotes
1 Lilian Daniel, “Give up Loneliness” from “Give it Up!” p. 23.
2-5 Ibid.
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